Friday, October 12, 2012

Doing the "Poopie" Dance


It has been to long…
It has been to hard…
And there had to be too many difficult decisions to be made…

Down the drain and/ or toilet bowl goes the “upbeat attitude” for the fifth time that day because another set of pain killers did not want to do their trick and since going to the bathroom and trying to perform a solid #2 (which yes can actually be a relief for some people, especially after 10 days…) Life just starts slipping away…

And it did.

 
Somewhere on or around the 14th day of this past beautiful September month Bastiaan “stuffed” me in the BMW. I wasn’t really at the point of complaining anymore, I was just ready to head for the biggest besets tree and show everybody that I was NOT afraid of dying but that this pain & suffering and hurtfulness needed to stop. For everybody!  Not just me…

Of course I did not drive, and we arrived safely at the hospital  with Dr Nala, She was fast, no crazy questions, no accusations, only understanding and a,” what are we going to do now attitude?!”  About three weeks before this horrible Thursdays we had started the new drug: Yeroy (Maybe you have seen the pics on my Facebook website as well as the Love For Leontien site, Thank you girls!) and we were feeling good about it.

Yervoy is a biologic therapy so it it’s not a “chemo” and it works differently but the main goal of course is the same:  to “kill” all the little nasty cells and live a long and happy life. But three weeks into the therapy I had was having some pain in my shoulder.  I did not think much of it because, me being me, I just felt the need to mow the ENTIRE yard the day before…  Well… we have a really nice lawnmower and the sun was just about down ,  it was a good day… so I thought why not…? Besides the side effects were not that bad, a little nauseated, tired, constipated, a little of everything but nothing really worth mentioning… I was doing fine…

But I really did feel a little “whipped” after I got off of the lawnmower, but no worries…  No “little” lawn is going to bring me down!

We decided that we could start with round two of the Yervoy, because the pain in the shoulder was pretty annoying but I still thought it was going to be OK and the side effects were doable. The only thing that worried me a bit was that I had all these little “spots” popping up, like, they were everywhere.  But Dr Nala explained that it was a normal side effect and they had seen that happen in different patients before.

And then the pain got worse…

Bastiaan was on the phone every day with the doctor’s office to see if there was something we could use to make sure the pain went away. But it didn’t. And then I stopped eating. Well, I wasn’t going to the bathroom no more, and everything that did go down were pills and crackers while trying not to puke them back up…

The really bad part was when I did not know how to lie down anymore, that’s when you know you’re in trouble. If you don’t know how to sit, lay, stand, hold yourself anymore that’s when your hubby says “enough is enough” and will take you to the hospital.  Even though you still think you can though it out…

That day Dr Nala looked at me for 2 seconds and says you are staying here with us.
By nightfall we had done all kinds MRI’s and CAT scans, and other tests and they had put me on some serious pain medication. And then morning came…

And results…

Seven weeks ago my brain was clean/clear/empty (yes,  I do  remember joking about it being blond and all…) in other words it was fine…

It is not fine anymore. They found little cherry tomato size tumors in my head.  And not just one, no there were five of them, besides multiple little ones. Also the found out why I had so much pain in my shoulder, it was because some other little tumor was  pressing up against a nerve in my spinal column which caused the excruciating pain.  We did decide that day that we were going to do radiation on the head as well as the spinal cord, because the chance of me getting into major problems with one of those brain tumors was just to big. Doing the radiation on the spinal cord was an “easier” decision because it would mean, hopefully, less pain…


We did 10 days of radiation (I even got my Certificate, that I completed the treatment, whoohoo!!!)
We started eating again as soon as Saturday! But only the GOOD stuff, like fresh fruit, whipped cream, fries, chocolate cake, chips, you get the picture…

And yes after 13 days of not being able to go to the bathroom I have to say actually did a little “poopie” dance!!! On the toilet, by myself… didn’t think anybody needed to see that… but I did it anyway!

Bastiaan took me home
It was a good day…

A lot has happened since and I am really trying to get everything on paper, but currently I am on 20 different medicines and I sleep a lot. If I am not sleeping we have been so blessed with family and friends that come on over or take the time to write or call, so our house is never really empty…

And I do look at the Flowers for Leontien Page  & The Love for Leontien Page  (please go and have a look!) a lot and that I haven’t written you does not mean I forgot about you it just means I’m running out of time… Thank you so so much for your support,  I really would have been a little bit lost without all of your prayers and kind words…

Since getting out of the hospital and now a lot has happened yet again... And i am not quite ready yet to put that down on paper so you have to bear with me, yet again... a little bit longer...


152 comments:

Jessica Nunemaker from little Indiana said...

You have been in the thoughts and prayers of so many--including mine.

I pray for strength for you and yours.

Four Ransom's said...

Oh girl, I loved hearing from you but hate to know what you are going through. You are an inspiration...and I will continue to keep you in my thoughts! I, too, pray for strength for you and your entire family.

Jeanie said...

It is so good to hear from you, though I am sorry that you are fighting new challenges. Your phenomenal spirit shines through even when you are sharing difficult news. Please know that you are not forgotten....wishing you pain free days and healing.

farmer said...

I'm not sure what to say...you are a true fighter,you make me stronger reading this.
I send many prayers and much love your way...xoxo

Alica said...

It's good to hear from you again Leontien. I sure wish you didn't have to go through this...praying for pain free days, and for peace...for you and for your loved ones! You are an amazing woman!!

geetlee said...

I've been worried for you. I'm so grateful to see your post.
I can only imagine the trials you have been through. Yet you make the time to write to us. I love you for that. I really really hope that you recover soon.
You are so beautiful.
Big hugs

Sandy said...

Boy can that pain medication wreak havoc on your system. Glad to hear you finally did the poopie dance as it is very important. I hope the radiation reduces your pain. Hang in there!

Furry Bottoms said...

I have been thinking about you a lot lately!! I am so sorry things have been so difficult for you recently. As I landed on this page, I looked to the right at your profile and the third word you used to describe yourself? Stubborn. Yep. You're the good kind of stubborn! :) Stay determined. Thank god for Bastiaan-- he certainly has been a rock. I hesitate to say this last part, it can be a sensitive subject for some but I think I absolutely have to say it. You're totally rocking that bald look! You look so fresh and pure and BEAUTIFUL. I love your blue eyes. Keep wearing those panties and we will keep you in our prayers.

Deone Gerber said...

Oh Leo.. You take as many steps and blogs as you need! We love you and pray for you everyday!! You, Bastiaan and your family mean so much to me and Kyle.. Love you!

Egberdien said...

Lieve, lieve Leontien,

wat een mooi verhaal weer, maar wat vreselijk nieuws. Het zit jullie allemaal niet mee... Maar de wonderen zijn de wereld nog niet uit, dus niet opgeven meid!! Hoop blijven houden, dat is de enige manier. Wij bidden en duimen voor je. Hou je taai meid!
Sterkte & beterschap.

Dikke knuffel uit Werkhoven,
Elmar & Egberdien

Cindi Dickerson said...

Greetings from VA. Our prayers join those of many others from all over. I am so sorry to hear about the recent turn of events. Just know that there are many, many people who care!!! Hugs!!! Best wishes for pain free days.

Eternal Lizdom said...

Such a difficult journey. You are such a strong woman - but also so very tender and real and that's why so many love you and support you.

You are in my prayers.

Buttons said...

Oh MY dear Leontien I am sitting here crying feeling your pain you are one stubborn chick and I love that about you but the whole lawn:)
I pray for you and your family and you should never wonder if you are being missed because the answer is yes but please do not think of us, take care of you.
You are the strongest woman I know and I must admit have the most beautiful bald shaped head I have ever seen. I am trying to keep this comment light as you need to think positive and smile and laugh. But I still think your head is beautiful:)
Take care my dear Leontien you are truly loved and I am sending you all the hugs and prayers I can possibly gather up. xxoo B

Lois Evensen said...

Dear Sweet Leontien,

We continue to think of you and pray for you.

Huge hugs from Ohio,
Lois

Gail Dixon (Louisiana Belle) said...

Oh, sweet one! I have thought so much about you, hoping that things were improving. I enjoyed seeing the beautiful photos of you and your hubby. Thank you for updating us. Hoping and praying you win this war. ((((Hugs))))

Becky said...

My dear friend, you are an amazing and strong person. I don't know if I could endure all that you have gone through. I hope by the time you read this you will be feeling so much better. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers. Take care and do let us know how you are.♥♥♥

Garden of Egan said...

Ah dear Leontien. I just love you and continue to pray for you.
I love the pictures.
What a beautiful brave woman you are.

Cindy Ellison said...

Leontien, it was so good to see that you had posted a blog. I yelled at Clint, "Leontien has a new post!" I am so sorry to read about the pain, I sure hope it is under control now. Hopefully you are resting comfortably and have one of your sweet cats nearby. They are so comforting to hold and pet and to feel their purring vibration, well ... you know exactly what I mean. :-) A whole lot of love and hugs being sent your way! Please keep us up to date, we love you!

Cindy

P.S. Those sky blue eyes of yours are beautiful!

TexWisGirl said...

sweet, sweet, beautiful girl! you have been on my mind and in my prayers. you are so brave. God bless you.

Jenn said...

Leo, I am in awe of you everyday - because of my patients I know the struggles you face. I am sending my love and I am up here in MI doing the poopie dance with you!
If you would like to know more aobut what we talked about before (when I was down this summer) just call or write. I think now may be the time. xoxo, Jenn

bon bon said...

your strength never ceases to amaze me, leontien. i wish all of God's good graces on you and your whole family, and look forward to when your posts return to the silly stories of riding horses or coming to america. when cancer is nothing but a fading memory.

hugs, kandy

Debby@Just Breathe said...

Glad you got to poop! So pleased that you enjoyed your flowers and that your home is filled with family and friends. Holding you close in my heart and asking God for His miracles. ((HUGS))

Jacquelineand.... said...

We don't know one another but love and gentle hugs are being sent from another Hoosier. Your heart has touched so many Leontien; I pray for your comfort and surcease from pain.

Leigh Ann Warren said...

Leo,
Your strength and stubbornness and determination are an inspiration to us all. I am in awe of you. I am sending you "pain free" thoughts. Love you *BIG HUG*

Anonymous said...

A cloudy day is no match for a sunny disposition. ~William Arthur Ward

We are praying for you !

The Vogel's
Cincinnati, OH

thecrazysheeplady said...

You. are. beautiful.

Sandra said...

thank you for taking the time and effort to share your story with us. your gift for writing shines through in this and brought tears to my eyes. praying for you, hugs from Florida

Julia said...

Dear Leontian, I'm so sorry about all the hardship you have been through since the last time I read about you.

You are getting more than your share of pain and I'm so glad that you have a loving husband and family and friends to support you.

I sincerely hope that you will get better and I am still praying for you every night on my knees, for healing.

It's true that God gives strength in suffering but you have been strong for so long. I felt like you when I was told that I would die of cancer. I wasn't afraid to die because I realized that I had my back against a brick wall with nowhere to go. I felt helpless and at least heaven should be better than all that suffering.

That's when I resigned myself to the will of God as I prayed to Jesus to take me if it was his will or to heal me if it was his will and I felt a blessed peace after I surrendered to his will. God has no desire to see us suffer just like a parent doesn't want his child to suffer.
I guess God didn't wanted to take me yet so He let me live and it has been 10 years now.

I almost forgot to mention about how beautiful you look with those beautiful blue eyes and I love the pictures of both of you together.

Sending healing love and prayers. ((( BIG HUGS )))
Julia

Marissa @Life On Our Mountain said...

Dear sweet, beautiful lady -
I've been thinking and wondering about you. I'm so glad you posted. You are so brave - you are so inspiring.

Hugs, thoughts and prayers

xX Marissa

Lisa @ Two Bears Farm said...

Your picture is so beautiful. I am sorry you have been through so much pain, but I'm glad you've found some relief. I hope cheesecake is on your food list! :-) Hugs to you - I think of you often.

Andrea Chalk said...

I didn't know what to say at first; I was so affected by your post. I sat in my car for a minute and "When I Get Where I'm Going" came on the radio.

Your journey has been one of such grace and strength that it gives more meaning to all our journeys. Thank you for sharing yours with us.

Anonymous said...

Leo,
I hope you realized how much God has used you! You are such an inspiration to everyone. I love ya and hope to see you soon. hugs and kisses:)
Stacy

Rose H (UK) said...

Dear Leontine, you are never far from my thoughts. So, so sorry that you have suffered so much pain, I wish there was a magic wand I could wave for you. You are one strong lady :o)
The photo of you and Bastiaan is truly beautiful.
Sending you love and support from across the pond.
{{hugs}}
Rose H
xx

Florida Farm Girl said...

oh, girl. I was so afraid this was happening. I'll be praying extra hard for you and Bastiaan. Wish I could wrap both of you in a big hug and just not let go.

Betsy Adams said...

Oh Sweet Leontien---wish I could take away all of the pain and suffering. BUT--I can't. However, I can pray and I do CONSTANTLY.

God Bless You, Sweet Lady. May God keep you in the palm of his hand.

Hugs,
Betsy

Susan Shilo said...

Leontine.....God is with you, every step of your journey. Trust in Him...give Him your burdens. He will be there every minute to hold you. He has given you family, friends, acquaintances, e-friends, etc. to pray for you, and to help support you along your journey. You are never alone!! You are loved!

It's me said...

Wat geweldig om weer wat van je te horen lieverd....ik schrok wel van het hele verhaal...maar meis wat ben jij sterk en dapper.....ik hoop zo dat de kanker eronder krijgt ...want meis zelf met je kale hoofd...je straalt !!!!......je ziet er goed uit......ik ga vreselijk voor je bidden weer....en geef je een dikke pakkerd en ook voor je vent.....ik hou van je....je zit in mijn hart lieverd.....liefs van mij...xxxx...vecht en ga door hè ,!!!....xxxx

It's me said...

Wat geweldig om weer wat van je te horen lieverd....ik schrok wel van het hele verhaal...maar meis wat ben jij sterk en dapper.....ik hoop zo dat de kanker eronder krijgt ...want meis zelf met je kale hoofd...je straalt !!!!......je ziet er goed uit......ik ga vreselijk voor je bidden weer....en geef je een dikke pakkerd en ook voor je vent.....ik hou van je....je zit in mijn hart lieverd.....liefs van mij...xxxx...vecht en ga door hè ,!!!....xxxx

Leah Beyer said...

Love you!

Ms. A said...

Leontien, I think about you all the time, pray for you and weep for you. Your strength amazes me and I'm so glad to see a post, bless your heart.

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, always. Big hugs and lots of love!

Ms. A said...

One more thing. I'm a huge fan of poop. That may sound crazy, but if you aren't doing it, you definitely understand why it's important. With all the medications you are on and all the different side effects of medications, when they build up in your system, from not being able to go, is a bad, bad thing. You become toxic in so many ways. Hope you can find some (continued) relief in that department.

EM Illustrator said...

You're in my thoughts and prayers dear Leontien (((((Big Hugs)))) xx

Lori Skoog said...

Leontien...thank you for sharing your status with us...we needed an update. There are people all around the world who have you in their thoughts. You have the strength of a super hero. Big hugs from Skoog Farm. Smooches too.

Anonymous said...

Praying for you without ceasing!

Chatty Crone said...

Dear Leontien - you are a hero and you give off such inspiration. You are as beautiful as all those flowers that everyone made for you.

I wish I could tell you why things like this happen - but I can't. All I know is that in the end God is God and I am glad you have him.

I will be praying for you. I am glad some things are going your way and getting a little better - I hope.

Hugs, prayers,
sandie

Poppy (aka Val) said...

So pleased to read a blog from you, I love your photo and send prayers your way every day, and of course Big Hugs too. keep on fighting :) xxx

Ellie said...

It is so nice to hear an update from your - but I am sorry to hear of all that you have been suffering.
You are such a pretty lady with your beautiful blue eyes - I really love your pictures.
Please know that I am thinking of you and sending you a huge hug.

Angela said...

You have the most beautiful blue eyes! Thanks for sharing with us yet again enough though it isn't good news it is good to hear from you. I hate everything that you are going through. I pray that the Lord Jesus Christ touches and heals you of everything that is going on.

Hugs,
Angela

Jill said...

You, beautiful lady are always in my thoughts and prayers. Do whatever you need to do for you. We will always be here. I hope you can feel the love. *HUGS*

acorn hollow said...

many prayers coming your way.
Cathy

Amy said...

I am praying you might have peace, in whatever way you need it.

gowestferalwoman said...

CONGRATULATIONS on being able to do the poopie dance" !!!! and Im wishing you many many more in a good way :) AND Buttons is right; you have the most beautiful shaped head ever - you can so carry that vogue look with hair (love the first shot!) or without when you use those gorgeous blue eyes of yours to stare us down(looove the second photo too)Your Bastiaan loves you so - those photos are wonderful!

wishing you all the rest, pooping and pain relief that you need, friend...







ann said...

Leontien
I am sorry to read what is going on but I know one thing you have been in my prayers from the beginning and my hope is for you to recover and be a well person Love to you and your Hubby

rainfield61 said...

The waiting has suddenly become so short after reading about you.

No matter what is going on, cheers to you.

Cheryl @ TFD said...

Beautiful Leontien, thank you so much for writing to us. I've been praying and thinking about you. The photos of you and your hubby show a beautiful and loving couple. I wish I could take away this trial that you are going through. You are an amazing young woman and a strong one, too, to have been through so much. I will continue to pray for you, sweet lady. And I'm sending love and big hugs to you!! God bless you.
Cheryl

Lynne said...

You are teaching me fortitude, life, hope like I never have known . . . my prayers . . .

Scriptor Senex said...

Still with you - with love and tears for your bravery and for the encouragement you are giving others to live their lives to the full while they may.
Love
John

Sonya M. Jones said...

Leontien, I'm really at a lost for words & don't quite know what to say. This has been a real battle for you. Even though we all send encourament and prayers we can't hardly imagine the pain you are going through. However, I will continue to pray ask God to have mercy upon you. Stay strong, beautiful and most of all postive. Sending lots of {{{Hugs}}} and ♥♥♥ your way.

don said...

I look every day to see if you've posted. Today a post was there and I said a silent ":YES". I read your account of this time with a heavy heart. You are so brave and have endured so much! You're on my prayer list every day and I pray God's blessing in coping with all the adversity and terrible chronic pain. I admire you hubby too who stands by you so loyally. Hugs and warm thoughts come with this post.

Gerreke said...

Heel, heel heel sterkte toegewenst en Gods zegen en kracht!

Inger said...

I look for your posts every day and I was so happy when I saw there was one today. You are one tough young woman and I'm so sorry you have to go through all this. I'm glad you have your loving husband and so much support from near and far. We all love you, you know that. May God bless you. Sending love and hugs.

Diana said...

I've been thinking about you and wondering what was going on. I was happy to see that you posted but my heart hurts because of all you have endured Leontien. But I'm sure you know how many of us are praying for you.
And mowing the grass? That sounds like something I would do. Sometimes we just don't let anything stop us. Good for you! Love, Hugs and many prayers my friend. Love Di ♥

Susan, a Sometimes Blogger said...

It must have felt good while you were mowing the grass.
You have such strength of mind Leontien.
Many hold you in their hearts.
Hugs xx

S. J. Qualls said...

I think of you and just wonder how you do it. But you know all that...

Take it from me, I know the joy of the "poopie" dance.

Wishing you less pain and more "joy"!

Sharon

SweetMarie said...

Dear Leontien, It's so good to see you post again. Since I'm not on facebook this is the only way I have to know what is happening with you. I have to tell you, I read this post the other night after you posted it. I cried and just didn't know what to say. I think of you often and keep you in my prayers. You have motivated me to listen to my doctor and keep my check ups with the dermatologist every three months. Thank you for having the courage to share all that you are going through with us. You are an amazing woman, with all that you deal with day and night you are still thinking of others. :)
I have to say you are beautiful in these photos.
Hugs and love,
Marie

Nancy Claeys said...

Leontien -- it means alot to us that you provide these updates. You are in my thoughts and I hope for good news for you and your sweet husband. xo

Terri Buster said...

Good thoughts and many prayers sent for you and Bastiaan. You are such a brave girl. {{Hugs}}

Jim said...

Leontien, you are an inspiration for me and I am sure others as well.
I send you all good wishes and energy from Nova Scotia in the north Atlantic.
Thanks you for taking me along your journey and how you have managed to keep writing about it.
Jim

Unknown said...

your so brave and gorgeous. a true inspiration. I wish you didn't have to suffer what you've been through. my thoughts are with you. across the ocean, from Portugal (Europe) a huge hug. thank you for letting us know how you're doing. means a lot sweet Leontien. xxo

LindaG said...

*hugs* and God bless you all. ♥

troutbirder said...

Ah Leontien. Each day as I visit my best friendd who is fighting pancreatic cancer I think of your similar struggle and courage. He lives close by and you far away but I do what I can and then pray for both of you.....

Cindy said...

Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry for all that you and your family are going through. Consider yourself hugged {}. Sending up prayers...

Susan said...

I hope for you no more pain. You've had enough! You are in my thoughts!

Daniel LaFrance said...

I applaud your tenacity to keep moving forward even when things get tough. I'll do the Poopie Dance with you.

We could all adopt the Gangnam Style as the Poopie Dance. :)

Valerie said...

Leontien~
I'm so sorry for this difficult journey. Cancer Sucks!!! You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. Keep fighting the good fight.

Buttercup said...

Adding my prayers and a hug!

Bee Lady said...

God Bless You.

Cindy Bee

Paula said...

Thinking of you and my prayers are with you. Good to see you could post an update even if you may not have felt like it, you cared about your blogging friends.

SmithGang said...

Prayers for you n your family.

Tina´s PicStory said...

you are soo taff! i hope you will get soon out of pain! ♥♥♥

Saara said...

I send You Finnish northern strength and angels to help You! I have had friends and family members having the same struggle as You, so I know a little what You are going through.. it is too hard for anyone. Now You are in my thoughts here in Finland!

Buttons said...

HUGS LEONTIEN. You are so loved girl and you are beautiful.xxxooo B

Maple Lane said...

Sharing with the many others who admire and love you. I am praying for you and your husband. Mildred

✿ chica said...

Vim te ver e deixar todo meu carinho e força. Sou do Brasil e me solidarizo contigo, mesmo de tão longe! beijos,chica

Karen said...

You are an amazing woman, so full of grace and strength and beauty, even during the most difficult circumstances.

Sending love and healing thoughts your way from Connecticut -

Nellie said...

Sending you loving thoughts and prayers from here in Tennessee. Hugs, Nellie

Mulberry Whisper said...

Leontien,I have just read about you at Maple Lane and came to check what it was about. I will be happy to 'bear with you' very much longer; please fight! I will pray for you, too, in faraway Uzbekistan (do you know where it is? come and visit us when you feel good - I know you WILL feel good; I will show you so many lovely places!). You are a wonderful person, and very beautiful, and I love stubborn determined women. Trying to be like that, too.

Beth said...

Prayers for you!

Susannah said...

God be with you, my child.

Friends,
Susannah

Lisa Sall - Sall's Country Life said...

What a strong and courageous woman you are! You give us all inspiration. My prayers are with you and your sweet husband. The pictures of the two of you show the loving bond you share. God Bless You!

Nancy J said...

I have hopped over from Skoog farm, and in New Zealand words " Kia Kaha", be strong.Your blog is an inspiration to us all, and this last week after my Hugh had a heart attack, I now know just how very much the comments,words, hugs, comfort sent over the miles are such a support . All greetings sent with hugs from Jean, ( alias Nancy J)

Bob Bushell said...

Love is the answer to your dream.

Kerry said...

I am here via Theresa, (Texwis Girl), and would like to add my voice to all of the others wishing you strength & marveling at your ability to soldier through all of this. Sending healing thoughts your way.

Jo Dee said...

Oh dear sweet Leontien,
You have been in my thoughts. i am so sorry honey, for all the pain you have suffered. My heart goes out to you. You have been and are faced with heartbreaking information. I wish I had the power to make it better, and it brings tears to my eyes that I cannot. Sending you loving thoughts, and wishes for pain free sleep.
((hugs)) and ((more hugs))
xoxox,

Jo Dee said...

p.s. I used to write as Cinderella11pm

Megan Adamson said...

Found you through Ms A, and I am amazed at what a brave, beautiful person you really are.

It was good to read such an uplifting blog...I don't do FaceBook.

Wishing you health and happiness from the U.K.

http://ladyofmuse.blogspot.com/

Cheyenne said...

Praying for you--supporting you--and loving you, dear stranger, but yet a a sister. Praying that quietness and trust will be your strength. Love to you.

janzi said...

I have just read your page and want to join in with thoughts and prayers on your behalf.. I know its very hard for you, but how you seize the day is so positive I am sure it helps fight those nasty tumours as well as all the meds.. thinking of you, sending hope and best wishes and many hugs from across the pond.janzi

Terra said...

I read your post and admire your strength, yes, strength, in fighting this disease and in sharing here. I pray you will be fully healed.

MamaDragon said...

What an amazing woman you are. You are in our prayers and I wish you pain free, care free days. Such a strong and inspirational person.

BlueShell said...

My dear Leontien...I have no words.. I only know that you are a brave woman! And The Good Lord is taking care oh each one of us. Trust Him...
I'm praying for you my dear!

Have a big hug...

ISABEL...aka, BlueShell

sophie...^5 said...

Flowers, Love and Leaves.....for you sweetie...hugs and snuggles from a doodle!
Love Sophie Doodle and Daddy Ron

Giga said...

Jesteś wspaniała, walcz dalej i wygrasz. Pozdrawiam cieplutko.
You're the best, fight on and win. Regards warm.

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

Love, support, healing thoughts and prayers from another blogger.

xoRobyn

Ailime said...

Minha querida amiga! És uma mulher forte e belíssimal. Com a ajuda de Deus nos aqui em Portugal vamos orar para que tudo passe rapidamente. Beijinhos. Aílime - sinais de esperança.

Maria Tatham said...

Leontien,
Prayers for you and your Bastiaan - love, life, everything you need in Jesus Christ! May all of these be at your fingertips!
Maria Tatham

Tweedles -- that's me said...

Our sweetest Leontien
I want to let you know- that your spirit has touched so many of us deeply.
Constantly we think of you- and wish you well-
I hope you know we all love you and wish you did not have so many struggles.
We also ask God for strength -
for your wonderful husband too.
love
tweedles

Barbara Shallue said...

I would have buckled long before now. Thinking of you and praying for continued strength, hope, peace, and comfort, but most of all for healing.

Barbara Shallue said...

I would have buckled long before now. Thinking of you and praying for continued strength, hope, peace, and comfort, but most of all for healing.

Maa said...

Hang In there, girl, and never give up. You are going to beat this with all these wonderful friends rooting for you. Sending good vibes and 'raking' for you. Hugs Maa,xox

Cait O'Connor said...

I send you love and healing thoughts
God bless
X()

Eileen said...

God bless you, you are in my prayers.

Lana said...

Even on your worse day, you are beautiful. Even on your worse day, you are inspiring. Even on your worse day, your writing is meaningful. Even on your worse day, you are loved, cherished and prayed for by many.

Here's to...all the days of life, even our worse days.

Thanks for sharing with all of us.

Lana

Rocky Mountain Woman said...

Sending as much love and good thoughts as I can....

xxoo,

rmw

Beth Niquette said...

I found you through my sister Clytie's Guest Heart Thursday. I am so moved by your dear and brave fight against this disease. God bless you. I'm praying for you and for your family.

Here is a heart for you: http://theabandonedlec.blogspot.com/2012/10/this-mornings-guest-heart-thursday-is.html

Kathleen's Blog said...

I will pray for you ;o)

cathy@home said...

Keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers, always. Big hugs and lots of love

Sarah (Nikki) said...

popped over from Debby Just Breath....glad I did...now praying for you. Stay strong okay...praying...and believing for you.

Black Jack's Carol said...

Hello Leontien. I am here via TexWis Girl. Loved Daniel's idea that we all do the "Poopie dance" with you, Gangnam style (I'd have to take lessons :) I am in awe of the way chronicling your journey has brought so many of us together from across the world. With all of us sending love to you and Bastiaan, I should think there must be quite a healing power there, especially in combination with the strength the two of you are managing to summon from the depths of your pain. We can wait for as long as it takes, so put your energy into storing up all that love!

Debbie said...

i hope you took the awesome panties off before you did the poopie ;))))

i am soooo happy you were able to mow the lawn!!

you will stay strong because we are all here pulling for you!!

Dolores said...

I think of you so often and each time I lift you up in prayer, I pray specifically for you to be healed of cancer!
My thoughts, prayers and love are sent to you each day!!!
Love you,

Judy SheldonWalker said...

You are in my prayers and thoughts. You are gorgeous with or without hair ! The inner beauty shines through. You are so strong and courageous.

God bless!!

Laura said...

Dear Leontien... sending you much love... and healing energy... you don't know me, but it doesn't matter... love is love and kindness is kindness and people are people and really we are just ONE heart beating together.

I pray that you will experience some ease from the pain and that the out pouring of love from so many people will comfort you and your wonderful husband too.

I posted some leaf photos for you and hope the bring you joy.

Help! Mama Remote... said...

You are in my prayers and i'm stopping by from Sarcrastic Granny (hugs)

Castles Crowns and Cottages said...

Dear Leontien,

I just saw your name yesterday on one of my favorite blogs, and then again this morning upon visiting another dear blogger.

I have no words to offer after reading this, only a prayer in my heart for you, for all of us, who in one way or another, are on a path to the very same destination. After reading your post, I am reminded about HOW I live, not how LONG I want to live or what I need to amass before my time is over, but HOW TO LIVE. I KNOW THAT I HAVE BEEN too focused on things that will not matter when real pain starts to happen in my life. What you share here is eye-opening and I hope will live in me so I can remember HOW TO BEHAVE in all weather.

LOVE, Anita

Betty Manousos said...

sweet, beautiful leontien!
we continue to think of you and pray for you.

we love you!
(((HUGS)))

Lotka said...

Walcz kochana, nie daj się chorobie. Wiem, ze to trudne, bo cała rodzina moja choruje na raka. Mąż na krtani, a ja i córka moja na tarczycy. leczymy sie i staramy nie myśleć . Będę wysyłać Ci pozytywną energię aby dodać choć trochę siły. Pozdrawiam, przytulam i całuję serdecznie z Polski.

imac said...

Came from Bettys blog.
You certainly have been thru the mill my dear, You really have the guts and fighting spirit to beat this, really admire you for this.
Our prayers and thoughts, are sent with best wishes to you and DH..
Look after each other. Take care.

Angel Corrochano said...

Todo mi apoyo, solidaridad y afecto para ti y los tuyos. Seguro que vencerás.
Muchos ánimos desde España!!!
Un fuerte abrazo

Wind said...

I think of you Leontien!
My best regards from Romania!

Monika B. said...

Stay Leontien. You want this person to Polish.

Craver Vii said...

Visiting from Betty Manousos' blog. You impress the heck out of me! God bless you & your family.

Catherine said...

Dear Leontien, You are in my prayers. Blessings, Catherine

sky-blu-pink said...

Dear Leontien, I found you through Betty at Cut and Dry. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you go through your treatment, with love from Geraldine

eileeninmd said...

Hello, you do have lots of bloggers including me praying for you. I do hope you stay strong and think positive. God Bless you and your family.

Betty (picture circa 1951) said...

I found a link to your blog on another blog and thought I'd drop by and try and give you some encouragement. I really don't know what to say and you'd think I'd be an expert by now. My son is also dealing with cancer and has recently relapsed again, but is now on a new drug. We live from scan to scan. All I can say is that cancer sucks. (Excuse my French, but there's no nice way to say it.) My prayers are with you. I wish I had a magic wand that I could wave and cure all cancer.

Katherines Corner said...

I send you gentle hugs and strong prayers xo

Lotka said...

http://comniecieszy.blogspot.com/ Link do bloga z kolorami jesieni. Pozdrawiam z Polski, życzę wyzdrowienia.

Dee said...

Dear Leontien, I came to your blog from Inger's. She wrote about you in a posting I read there today. Your posting leaves me in awe of your fortitude. Blessings on you and on all whose lives you touch with your courage and your good will. Peace.

margareth said...

We are sisters in the trouble. I had an cancer for eleven years. On tomorrow I'll meet the doctor to know the results of the last scans. But I am older than you and I think that you are too young to know that. But you are very courageous. God helps you !

Jen Forbes said...

I came over to visit, some of my friends did leaves and I wasn't sure what it was about.

I'm in awe of your courage and positive attitude. You are an amazing woman.

I'll pray for you.

Smareis said...

Leontien, vi seu link e vim ler sua postagem, Que Deus lhe de força, fé, coragem pra lutar sempre, sem desisti jamais...Tudo é possível quando se tem fé.
A oração é o melhor caminho a Deus. Estará na minhas prece.

Grande abraço!

Chain Stitch Crochet said...

Praying that a miracle will happen for you. You are beautiful with or without hair. xoxoxo

Brita said...

Life is wonderful and you have so much to fight for. Do not give up. Faith and desire makes us strong / brita

Unknown Mami said...

Sending you love and positive thoughts. Thank you for taking the time to share your story.

diane b said...

sorry to hear of your awful problems. I sincerely hope medicine will triumph and that you will improve.

Jenny said...

Visiting from Mrs. A's blog.

Bless you sweetie.

Sending hugs and prayers to wrap around you and your loved ones on this journey through...well...ummm...

poop.

Anonymous said...

lieve Leontien,
ik werd een beetje op de hoogte gehouden door mijn moeder. Ik heb je site gevonden en als ik je verhalen lees schrik ik elke keer weer.
Dit is afschuwelijk. Ik denk aan je en wil je heel veel sterkte wensen en heel veel momenten zonder pijn!
Een hele dikke kus van Sandra van Dommelen, je vriendinnetje van vroeger.

VirginiaC said...

I'm glad that I came over to visit you from CJ's (Scriptor Senex) blog.
You are a sweet brave woman, and I admire his about you. Even though you are going through pain right now, you have filled me with an abundance of hope and inspiration.
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and wish you a peaceful recovery.
Glad you were able to do the Poopie Dance. You rock the bald style too!!
Blessings.

Buttons said...

Hello Leontien just checking up on you. You are never far from my heart or thoughts. Hugs B

Dutch Sugar Babe said...

Ik hoop dat de pijn nu eindelijk te bestrijden is en dat je je daar beter bij voelt.
Wat is kanker toch een klote ziekte!
Ik zou je graag mooie woorden geven, maar ik kom ik niet verder dan het cliche "Sterkte".
There will always be light in the darkest darkness.

Veel liefs
Eliza

akwamaryna said...

I still think about you.
I send you hugs and strong prayers.